Working with new parents, I often see how having a baby challenges their abilities to meet their own needs. Our culture conditions us to do whatever it takes to ensure the survival and happiness of our offspring, even at the expense of our own health and wellbeing. The reality is that if our own needs are met, we are better able to meet the needs of those dependent on us. There is a whole industry built on guiding us to do what our culture has told us not to do. How many times have you heard the following statements?
Self care is so important!
Self love is the starting point for finding love!
Put on your oxygen mask before assisting others!
You can't feed others from an empty bowl!
Some people spend a lot of money on gurus, trainings, diets, etc. trying to get their needs met. But it's usually not that complicated. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs helps me simplify the next step for clients and myself. I start at the bottom and work my way up. Often, just taking care of one or two things on the bottom does the trick.
Where you put your attention, you will see a shift.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
From: https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
Here are some questions I ask parents:
Have you been outside and gotten fresh air recently?
Have you drunk water recently?
Have you eaten a nourishing meal recently?
Have you slept recently? (this one is especially salient with new parents!)
Have you pooped recently?
Have you deeply connected with another adult recently?
Just yesterday I was talking with a client and we decided that the focus for her entire family for the next 3 days would be on her sleeping. I prepared food for them, and cleaned the kitchen. I’ll be back tomorrow and will see what a difference that intention made. If you or a new family you know is struggling with getting needs met, check out my packages, and let’s make a plan for getting to the top of the pyramid!
Life Beyond Birth provides support for expectant parents, and new babies & their families, online and in-person. Contact Molly at www.lifebeyondbirth.com.