Sometimes the intense impulse to learn as much as possible in order to avoid a stressor can cause more stress than we seek to alleviate. The sheer volume of (often contradictory) information and perspectives available to expectant parents makes it overwhelming to know where to begin, and how to discern which messaging is the most congruent with their particular desires, values, and lifestyle. The more we are able to slow down, clarify, and simplify the preparation process, the better. Connecting with like-minded people and embodying practices that encourage groundedness, ensure that we do not have to carry the full burden of care for ourselves and our babies. Instead, we can reap the benefits of beginning the journey of parenthood within a well-resourced ecosystem.
In my course Life Beyond Birth 101, spiritually-minded couples who seek to bring a high level of care and intentionality to their postpartum period can rest easy knowing that everything they need to create a holistic postpartum care plan is right at their fingertips. This course was designed to provide expectant parents with confidence as they face the many challenges and opportunities of the often overlooked fourth trimester. Too frequently, I see new parents struggling in the aftermath of birth, when they are confronted with a perfect storm of sleep deprivation, psychological and emotional disruption, physical recovery from birth, and major changes in their relationship with each other and themselves. It is my personal passion to change the story of this crucial time from one of intensity and hardship, to one of growth and nourishment. In anticipation of something we have never experienced before, we may be persuaded to swing on a pendulum of extreme, comforting, but ultimately unhelpful beliefs. We may believe that parenting will come to us instinctively, or that reading a thousand books, attaching ourselves to certain outcomes, and inundating ourselves with exclusively positive thoughts will somehow pre-determine our fate.
In truth, the ascent to parenthood requires holding our agency and our ability to surrender; doing what is within our power and bowing to what is far beyond our control.We must learn when to reach for expertise, and when to stop and listen. We must know what we know, and what we don’t know. Birth and postpartum education is at once empowering and humbling, much like parenting! The fourth trimester is a time, place, and space where we experience life through a high saturation filter. It is like a womb for the whole family; a phase where our infant continues to develop outside of our body, but still requires as much intensive care as our bodies once carried out automatically. In order to gently ease into their new relationship and establish their new normal, a mother and baby must be held by a supportive community. Likewise, the fourth trimester is a phase in which we become entirely new versions of ourselves. We feel things on a level we did not know we could feel. We stare at the great abyss of our multigenerational connectivity and capacity for love. When unprepared and under-supported in this liminal space, we may not feel able to rise to the occasion. If clinging to idealized notions of what this phase will entail, we set ourselves up for an undo sense of failure or disappointment. Much like we prepare our homes for the arrival of our infant through the nesting process, we must prepare ourselves for the arrival of a new way of being internally.
It is a travesty that during a sacred season of heightened tenderness--one defined by journeying with the intertwined spirits of Life and Death and Rebirth--parents are often left feeling isolated, invisible, burnt out, and overwhelmed. What would the world be, if more and more people began to build a shared reality where early parenthood was given the attention and support it deserves? Birthing a better world through childbirth, requires personal responsibility, trustworthy knowledge, space for inner mapping, and networks of teachers, elders, and peers. In a culture where we are often set up to feel disconnected from each other, our own body, needs, and depth of experience, reclaiming the fourth trimester is a revolutionary act of healing and social change. It starts with finding personal resilience through trust in one’s own intuition and competency. Life Beyond Birth 101 helps families lay the groundwork of a solid foundation for a restorative postpartum period. These pieces include understanding what is normal and when to seek help, developing deeper connections within partnership, cultivating nourishment rather than depletion, having reverence for a body that has grown and sustained life, and much more. Students will learn practical skills such as how to respectfully feed, soothe, care for, and bond with a new baby, ways of tapping into the magic of nutrition for birth recovery and milk production, conquering breastfeeding challenges, and getting good sleep.
Additionally, students have the opportunity to deep-dive into the realm of inner work necessary to spur personal development through childbirth and throughout the fourth trimester. This includes queries and support around bonding with partners while traversing the rite of passage to parenthood, guidance in how to intentionally create a community of support (it takes a village!), reframing the messages of postpartum mood disorders, and mindfully preparing body-mind-spirit for birthing your baby and motherself. Together, we can ensure that the fourth trimester remains what it was always meant to be: a gentle, extended gestation, giving way to the birth of a new family.
*******
Find information about upcoming Life Beyond Birth 101 courses.
__________________________________
Life Beyond Birth provides support for expectant parents, and new babies & their families, online and in-person. Find a class or contact Molly at www.lifebeyondbirth.com.