Updated: Jan 5, 2020
As we near the end of January and the excitement of the holidays settles, I am enjoying this New Year's wish that a friend here in Spain recently sent me. I worked with Google Translate ;) to send it to you, along with a big hug: "I do not wish you a wonderful year in which everything is good. That is a magical, childish, utopian thought. I wish to encourage you to look at yourself, and to love yourself as you are. I wish you enough self-love to fight many battles, and the humility to know that there are impossible battles to win, ones which are not worth fighting. I hope you can accept that there are realities that are unchangeable, and that there are others that, if left alone, you can change. Do not allow "I can not" and recognize "I do not want". I hope that you listen to your truth, and say it, with full awareness that it is only your truth, not that of others. That you expose yourself to what you fear, because it is the only way to overcome fear. That you learn to tolerate the "black spots" of the other, because you also have yours, and intolerance negates the possibility of claiming them. That you do not condemn yourself for being wrong; you are not all-powerful. That you grow up, where and when you want. I do not wish for 2019 to bring you happiness. I wish you to be happy, whatever the reality in which you live."
~ Mirta Medici, Argentine psychologist
I love this reminder of the importance of awareness, balance, and acceptance. I have been working on becoming more aware of how I feel in my body, mind, and spirit, and accepting the discoveries without judgement. I recently attended a parenting workshop at my kids' school here in Gijon Spain. It became clear to me that the concept of self care was completely unheard of amongst parents here. When the facilitator asked questions about prioritizing our children's needs over our own, the parents responded with positivity. Then she asked how our children will learn to respect themselves and others if we don't model self-respect, care, and worth. Hmmmm.... In response to the question in my last Nurturing Notes asking what you wish you had known before you became a mother, my dear friend (and mother of 4 amazing children) Nicole shared:
"I wish someone would have told me that it’s OK to want something other than being a Mama. That there is more to my life than just this baby/child. That I can love them fully, and still live out my passions and dreams."
As we move forward in 2019, I hope that you can embrace ALL of who you are, and make progress (no matter how small) each day towards finding balance in all that fills your life; seeing yourself not only as a mama, but also as a woman finding her unique way in the world.
Life Beyond Birth provides support for expectant parents, and new babies & their families, online and in-person. Find a class or contact Molly at www.lifebeyondbirth.com.