Updated: Jan 5, 2020
I often encounter first-time mothers struggling to shift from the life they have known up until birth to their new realities of life with baby. Most of them have never been told about the subtleties of this shift.
The to-do list, the rapid pace of life, the external achievements, and the ignoring of their deepest needs no longer serve mama in this new reality. These things are replaced with days that slip by; feeling everything deeply; becoming engrossed in your baby’s every noise, movement and bodily function; celebrating accomplishments that once were mundane, like brushing your teeth.
I call it Molasses Land. It is sweet and slow-moving, beautifully murky, sticky, and moist. It is a magical place that gives you the opportunity for retreat, for being nurtured, and for intentionally transitioning to motherhood and bonding with your baby. I highly recommend sinking into it; it will help your oxytocin flow, and increase your enjoyment of simplicity. You can’t get to Molasses Land any other way than through birthing a baby and synching with baby’s rhythm.
Some women find Molasses Land to be a challenging and unfamiliar place; they struggle to make sense of their lives in it. Others sink in without hesitation, letting the breastmilk, support, tears, and love flow. Molasses Land asks us to push beyond what we thought possible in terms of sleep deprivation and patience, and love more deeply than we’ve ever known. In her book Mothering From Your Center, Tami Lynn Kent says “Mothering is a true spiritual path in that it will expand your spirit, make painfully visible your personal limitations, and bring some of the greatest heart-opening moments of bliss – sometimes all in one day” (2013, pg 3).
Though it may feel like it will last forever, your time in Molasses Land is fleeting. You will likely be making forays into the outside world by 2-3 months after birth. So, soak up this sweet, slow, dreamy season of life. Let baby set the pace, sniff their head, and drift in and out of sleep. Stay warm, hydrated, and relaxed. Celebrate your body for growing and birthing your baby. Snuggle with your partner, and lounge in you PJs. Let others cook you yummy food in your home, so that the aromas can send your brain messages of abundance.
Life Beyond Birth provides support for expectant parents, and new babies & their families, online and in-person. Find a class or contact Molly at www.lifebeyondbirth.com.